Visited my previous church for my Pastors 60th Wedding Anniversary this weekend. One of the ladies:
“I remember the first time I saw you in this church…”
“I was HORRIFIED: shorts, no shoes and dreadlocks…!“
This lady, so warm, smiling and excited to see me and my children for the first time in years, obviously thought very little of me back then 😂
And to think, when I entered that church, God had refined and changed me for YEARS! I considered myself a clean, groomed , sedate and ‘normal’ person comparatively: imagine if she had met me earlier!!
It reminds me of one lady who did see me in a worse state…
On a trip to end my life, living in a camper van, in the year 2000. God radically saved me and then miraculously rescued me. A large number of strange ‘coincidences’ led me to being in a country town on a Sunday.
I drove to the community hall after finding an advert for the local church and went in the back door. I was likely dirty, brash and yes with long dreadlocks. An addict and alcoholic living in a camper van in the bush for a few months before this moment…I likely looked, well, a bit rough!
I will never forget the look of shock and fear on Fiona (not her real name). She thought I was there to rob the place:
“What do you want?”
“Is this where the church is?” She said yes and apprehensively stood aside so I could get in.
Here I would hear an ex drug user preach about Father to the Fatherless, sense the Holy Spirit, get immersed in the worship (despite it being a small tape player in a massive hall) and discover it was Fathers Day. That’s right, all that happened just for me on Fathers Day in a place called New Man!
I was *radically* different on the inside – but my outside still needed cleaning up – a LOT! And, it seems, years of going to church, running Bible studies, ministry, counselling, even wedding photography and I *still* was horrifying people with my look 😂! Sometimes we are not as refined as we think!
Thankfully God looks on the inside!
It was a mixed bag down memory lane, with seeing my previous pastors’ ill health but also being reminded of preaching there with my 4th child on my arm, (now a fully grown man and much more refined than me – inside and out!)…and catching up with people we haven’t seen for years, many with more ailments.
Fittingly, the message was on how God refines us through trials and, while we may hate it, He is doing it so He can use us for His purpose. An easy truth to loose sight of!
Lord thankYou for not giving up on us. ThankYou for being patient with us despite us running away, being impatient, rearing up or even attacking and blaming You. Please help us to see and learn what we need to – help us to adjust to our new normal and have grace and peace in the valley. ThankYou for the encouragement that You give through others at times when we have lost hope.