Interesting day today: during our ‘Jesus Time’ Bible discussion & worship, a few times I found myself thinking about just how difficult life is on a daily basis, pain wise.
At the time, I didn’t know if it was due to the verses we were reading about God’s coming kingdom (where there will be no pain), if it was ‘just’ because things are a little worse than normal or if due to the fact I had just had another consult with the pain clinic (which forces me to think & assess things I am continually trying to ignore).
Turns out, (I found out a few hours later) there was a fourth option…
I had gotten a few hours ‘work’ done and someone came to the gate unscheduled. They were on crutches and clearly agitated.
It turns out they were in extreme pain and had been told that we had a package of medical marijuana for them. Here he was after travelling 15 minutes, expecting relief from his pain, confronted by me, without any parcel, annoyed at being disturbed from the little work I could be doing.
Despite his comments of accusation / blame, I felt for him, knowing he would be in pain for the rest of the day and unable to sleep tonight. If I were in his shoes, I would be annoyed too.
We had a lot in common: but it was quite confronting to see someone in serious pain without the one thing that helped them. I *really* know what this is like – so offered some practical help, however I knew this was *not* about me trying to help someone in the physical…
I shared parts of my pain journey and how it was a huge factor in the decision to end my life. I shared how Jesus had used my pain to get to a point where I would be willing to ‘taste and see’ if He was real.
He wasn’t quite there – but after another 5 or 10 minutes talking, I could see his willingness was growing so offered one of the Bibles we have available that are easy to understand. But, as receptive as he now was, I was still trying to fight away that niggling thought:
“I should ‘pray for this guy’
There were distractions and every reason under the sun why it would be weird to pray for someone publicly…and just then my son arrived to pick up a box of mandarins (that someone had graciously dropped at our gate). This was it – I couldn’t pray now, my son is here now right?
Wrong.
My son didn’t interrupt or even come through the gate to get the mandarins: he hovered only for long enough to work out what was happening & left as abruptly as he had arrived. Now, with no excuses left I asked if he would find it weird if I prayed for him.
He was now actually quite enthusiastic, so I grabbed his hand, laid my hand on his shoulder & prayed. As is often the case, I could sense the Holy Spirit, but I also immediately got the impression that this man had been in a lot worse situations than he had shared.
I prayed specifically for ‘Yergen’ (not his real name), that tension would release and asked for God’s peace, love and joy to hit Him among other things. When I stopped & opened my eyes his whole demeanour had changed:
“wow – I can’t believe how calm I felt instantly when you started praying – its like it washed over me…”
[Tension is the chronic pain sufferers #1 enemy, it makes even referred pain feel worse – it’s a rapid downward spiral.]
“yes – Jesus is actually real mate!”
I said a few things about Jesus, and then shared what I sensed about his previous valleys. He admitted that ‘something’ had protected him on many occasions and I was now able to simply say that this ‘something’ was actually the man Jesus who paid for our sin, but was also the Creator.
It was likely only 20 minutes out of my day, but I really think that both of our days were transformed by the encounter. I will likely get to see him again, please pray that God would convict him, open his eyes and speak to him through the Bible as he reads it.
But I share this in the hope that you would be encouraged…
God, in His faithfulness, is still:
1) helping & encouraging people like me who consistently struggle through life’s valleys
2) orchestrating situations where weak, feeble people like myself can still be used for the good of other’s
3) reaching out to people with grace, offering forgiveness and even giving little glimpses so they know He is real & loves them
4) wanting His people to be obedient in sharing His truth / love with those in need no matter what.
Lord, please encourage Yergen tonight, as he struggles in the physical, may His soul cry out for You. Remind Him of Your protection and provision over the years, but reveal who Your are to Him, open the eyes of His heart so He could know You and Your immense love, even for sinners. Have Your way in His life, but also in ours.
May we be willing to follow Your leading and Your command to share Your Truth with others and disciple them as priests in Your Kingdom.
I lift my hands to you in prayer.
I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.Come quickly, LORD, and answer me,
for my depression deepens.
Don’t turn away from me,
or I will die.Psalms 143:6-7 (NLT)