\u201cDon\u2019t just tell me I am valuable or that you love me…SHOW ME!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n We all want to be ‘found’ by someone. We want to be noticed, we want to be acknowledged, we want to be encouraged, we want to be chased, to be found – to be loved.<\/p>\n God has created us all with the desire to be loved and connected – not ‘just’ with people, but with Him. Completely, intimately and continually. That may not be what you are aware of, but it was how it was intended.<\/p>\n The first person that should have shown you this love, attention and importance is your father. God has created the role of father to give an indication to children of what He is like and what He thinks of these precious people He cares for\u2026<\/p>\n A father is what is known as an \u2018image bearer\u2019 of God.<\/p>\n An amazingly powerful (and scary) reality. Two important points can be deduced from this:<\/p>\n 1) Children are very, very important to God and are meant to be valued. <\/strong><\/span> This is the total opposite of what I entered adulthood with\u2026 My logical thoughts were something like \u201cHow could a god let me go through what I did?\u201d He either didn\u2019t exist or didn\u2019t care. To me, it was a logical conclusion.<\/p>\n But internally, the hidden belief was far, far more sinister and the results much worse. \u201cI am guilty, I am worthless, I am nothing\u201d<\/p>\n As with many people who have had a less-than-perfect upbringing – (especially those who have been abused) – I lived with shame. I didn\u2019t know it but boy did it drive me. I would avoid things I wasn\u2019t good at, show off about things I was good at and lie about the rest.<\/p>\n I can honestly say these inner beliefs drove my life and nearly destroyed me, quite literally. The first, huge change came for me, the week of Fathers Day 2000 when I read a book that showed me the true reason for the way I was feeling. It wasn\u2019t because my dad left before I was born. It wasn\u2019t because of the bad actions of others or the police having it in for me.<\/p>\n The state I was in, was due to my bad actions and my sin. This book, the Bible, also showed me the consequence of this sin – not \u2018just\u2019 other\u2019s or me feeling bad & wanting to die – but eternal damnation. Hell. A place I never thought I existed. I was about to jump off a cliff to end the pain but really was about to jump into something far, far worse with no escape.<\/p>\n But thankfully, the Bible also describes a way out – a parachute so to speak. The sacrifice of God\u2019s only Son, Jesus, who willingly died for me because God (my True Father) loved me so much! Unlike my earthly father, He loved me and never left even though He had every reason. He knew my sin & actions against Him but loved me anyway!<\/p>\n Father to the fatherless, defender of widows\u2014<\/em> Psalms 68:5-6 (NLT)<\/strong>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n I could never accurately describe how the experience of this love, despite my hatred and abuse of His people, completely floored me. It was more powerful than any drug, any relationship, any high speed chase, any burglary, any score – it hit me hard and brought me to tears. My life shifted in that moment and started in a whole new direction that 20 years later is still mind blowing.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n 2) Fathers have a responsibility to reflect the heart of God to their children.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n The role, as God created it, would show genuine and unconditional love to their children, at all times(!). Qualities I missed as a child and often fall far short of now. But I can honestly say that today some of these things come naturally to me now. They are not an effort or a discipline, but a natural out-working of what God has done in my heart. It really is miraculous. For the first few years of parenting, I wasn\u2019t even aware of these things, and for the things I was aware of – I had no power to change them despite being incredibly head-strong. \u2028<\/p>\n
This means that a person will come to believe that God is like their father.
If you father is loving, forgiving and kind, you will believe that God is kind and approachable.
If your father is mean, distant or abusive, you will believe God doesn\u2019t exist, doesn\u2019t care or wants to punish you.![\"Dad](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/203.170.86.202\/wildeden.com.au\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/dad-walking-with-child-on-the-beach.jpg?resize=495%2C600\" "\\"dad-walking-with-child-on-the-beach.jpg\\"")
<\/p>\n
The child should feel important, safe, cherished, encouraged, secure and valuable.<\/p>\n
I believed that God didn\u2019t exist – but that if \u2018he\u2019 did, he was a mongrel (but used far stronger words).<\/p>\n
It was only years later that I started to examine what I really believed that I became aware. Things that had affected and directed my life for 20+ years, and I wasn\u2019t even aware of them!<\/p>\n
These powerful inner beliefs led me to be emotionally closed, untrusting, driven, angry but quite successful (at things I cared about). I couldn\u2019t let anyone know that I could fail at anything.<\/p>\n
Once I became aware of these beliefs (only the tip of the iceberg to start with!), I tried to combat them with all kinds of things ranging from cognitive therapy to subliminal programming to shear mental willpower. All of it was useless, or at least, short-lived.<\/p>\n\n
this is God, whose dwelling is holy.<\/em>
6 God places the lonely in families;<\/em>
he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.<\/em>
But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.<\/em><\/p>\n
Not getting angry, being manipulative, rude, distant, apathetic or not present – but being involved, focused, intimate, encouraging and gracious.<\/p>\n