When this happens...
Topic: A different take
Have you ever attacked your wife or partner? Yelled, screamed, used those angry eyes, given silent treatment or just left (emotionally or physically)? Has it ever been because of something that has happened with or to your child? A parenting issue? A dis-agreeance on what has or should happen?
Me too. It is a common source of conflict in a marriage. Today I feel God wants me to share a different take on these times.
Maybe when you reacted, you just experienced part of God's heart? What? Maybe - let me explain:
As I look back at my childhood, I longed for someone to do that for me. To stick up for me, to protect me to be on my side. For those of you who have suffered at the hands of an abuser, you will know what I am talking about. Where was someone to rise up in anger & protect me, to punish them? To take me away, keep me safe, to let me out, to tell me it would be ok, to help me avoid the situation altogether? Help me! I don't know what is happening - I don't know if this is right or wrong I'm all mixed up. Have I done something wrong or is this good? And where was God through all this? Was He watching & just letting it happen, not caring or unable to help?
Imagine watching your child (or someone else's for that matter) getting treated badly or being abused by someone...would you stand by and watch? Could you? Could you still go off to work and avoid the situation, letting them try to figure things out for themselves and deal with the consequences, pain and shame on their own? I doubt you could even if you tried. That very part of God's nature and love would start to rise up and motivate you to protect and conquer the agressor. We have been created to protect!
You probably first noticed this father nature strongly when your child was born. Sure you may have had moments of it with animals, toys, cars , properties - but it all was miniscule in comparison to when you saw your son / daughter for the first time. In that huge moment everything changes. You are experiencing part of what God has created you for! No one could tell you to feel this way or try to 'do it' - but it welled up from within. Maybe you fought it or tried to hide it because of what others thought or you didn't know what it was or believed it was a weakness to show emotion - but it was there and for most of you, you could never deny it.
No doubt you have had many times since then realising and experiencing a whole new level of love, protection and desire but maybe at times this has also resulted in fear and anger.
While wanting to protect and have that child grow into what you see as a man, you will inwardly desire to do what you think is best, but may be faced with a culture where you often don't make the decisions, where you have many other commitments that draw your attention away from God and where maybe you don't get the chance to be a part of that childs life as much as you would like - but that desire is still there.
The source of this desire to protect is God. His very nature of love and protection may actually have been experienced by you! This is true of Muslims, Athiests, Satanists, Christians, drug addicts and everyone in between. God has placed part of His very nature inside of the human. Some of the people I spent years living with - drug addicted and abusive, completely feral actually - still had that spark of the heart of the Creator at times! Sure it was rarely seen and tainted when it was - but still striving to get out.
Now imagine how strong this sense of love & protection is in God! The very source of all love - who actually is love - He has the strongest sense of protection of all. It is intense. Anytime you have suffered - He has actually suffered with you. Everytime you have been wronged, He felt it. He never left, turned a blind eye or was complacent. He was watching. He is watching. He felt it too. He longs to right the wrongs and bring peace to the hurt.
Something even more amazing about this loving, caring God - He actually went against this part of His nature we are talking about. The love, anger and protection that we all long to give to our children - we get that from Him. He felt that towards His Son Jesus. But the amazing thing is, not only did He turn a blind eye when Jesus was being tortured and wronged for other peoples sin - He actually punished His Son in place of us. The love that God showed towards us in this act is hard to comprehend. But if we actually respond to this act of love, our eyes will be opened. You can actually take the place that Jesus held - becoming one of God's own sons / daughters with all the benefits and position that the title holds. Simply incredible!
If you have never experienced the love of God, realised what He has done for you or accepted His gift of forgiveness and life I encourage you to do that right now. Ask Him to lead you & guide you...He will start to give you a revelation of your sin, of how Holy He is and the Judgment that is coming. You then have a decision - you can repent and surrender to Him, becoming a willing follower of the source of Life, or you can reject and keep living the life He gave you in the way you think is best and take the consequences on yourself.
Don't be fooled by those who say you just need to say a prayer or go to church or be baptised etc. I would encourage you to read the Bible as it alone can be trusted to guide you. You will find that it is only by believing in your heart and mind that you can be saved. Saying a prayer is only one of those. Repenting is much more than turning away from sin - this is only half of the vital key. Repentance in the Old Testament meant to turn around, do a 180 away from sin, but in the New Testament it is so much more. It is a change of mind and heart - which only God can do. There are two areas - one that is God's and one that is yours. Take care of your part...He is faithful!
And guess what - you'll make mistakes, fail and at times explode (out of fear, anger or unresolved issues) but He will walk with you. He will continually offer forgiveness and love, turning even your failures & bad decisions into success. All He wants is your willingness to follow Him, rely on Him and turn to Him first and above all else. No trickery, no hidden disclaimers or false promises. He wants you to abandon everything for Him...the things you can't let go of He can and will work with you to both give you the desire and ability to walk away from if you pursue this.
Many people believe they are saved in Churches because they miss this. They believe in an all-loving, all-forgiving 'god' who will not judge them and will accept them the way they are. Trouble is - this god does not exist. The one true God, the Creator of all could never accept someone like you or me. He is far too Holy. We deserve death and hell. But that is why Jesus went to the cross. He paid for us to be Holy & without blame. So if we trust in this and submit to His Lordship, we will not only be saved but we will not allow the things we know are part of our old nature to remain. We will not only acknowledge them, but we will desire and earnestly seek the One who alone can change them. We will not give up until He does.
Imagine this: you're on a large ship. It's sinking in icy waters days from land. There is a big party with free food and drink and most of the people are there. No one wants to leave as they are having a great time. But you can't swim. You know that the water is so cold you won't survive an hour in it. You can see the water rushing in, the boat starting to list up. And an attendant says to you he is about to leave with the only lifeboat. There are others on the life boat - the decision is easy. But as you start to climb in the attendant says "you can't come with any luggage". You look down at your bag - everything you own. All your money. What do you do? For most it would still be an easy decision. But what if the bag was attached to your hand and you had to cut off your arm to remove it? If you don't you die. If you do it will hurt. What do you do?
If you want to live, you will do what is needed to get on that life boat. It is a loose analogy - Jesus doesn't say we need to cut off our hand...but He did say...
* So if your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one hand or one foot than to be thrown into eternal fire with both of your hands and feet. * And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell
(Matthew 18:8-9 NLTSB)
If there is something that is clearly of your old nature - the sinful past - you need to get to the bottom of it. Does Jesus want you to sew your mouth shut if you can't be calm and polite to your wife (even while she argues about your childrens.....whatever)? Or does He want you to deal with why you are reacting in such a way? Don't ignore these things - don't pretend they don't matter or gloss over them. Don't live in a marriage where you just avoid each others 'triggers' or try to keep the peace - but go to the One who can actually give you peace through the daily pressures and decisions of life. The One who can bring you both to freedom to love and follow Him freely. The One who alone can save you from the fires of hell.
Don't avoid the storms - but go through them with His peace. This is not something you can do - but there are ways that you can go to Him for Him to do it.
I have seen and I see evidence of avoiding this daily. The same mistakes are repeated. No matter how hard you try. The children come out the other end believeing the same lies and experiencing the same pain as the parents. It is simply too important to ignore.
God loves you like no other. He will allow you to go through storms - it would not be love if He didn't.
If there are areas you need help in or you would like more information check out the 'Ministry' tab on the main website.
Conclusion: Don't try to avoid the storms - go through them with His peace, obtained beforehand
"Lord thank you for your love and sacrifice. Help us have the faith needed in our minds and hearts to receive this monumentous gift and to truly follow you. Awaken a deep desire by your Spirit to turn to you and face the things that lie hidden, the things that we have avoided for so long, the things that hurt - and give us the strength to continue until we find that promised freedom for ourselves and others. Thankyou for being a true Father - one who truly loves, despite the fact that we have absolutely no worth or value or anything we can offer you. You are.... Amen "